Вадим Темкин (vmtcom) wrote,
Вадим Темкин

Ресторанная критика - 2

Что-то мне пишется только негативную критику последнее время. Хотя в планах подробно написать про великолепный питерский ресторан Grand Cru.

Я сейчас в Хельсинки и, после интересных экскурсий в национальную кухню и поздне-ночной еды в макдональдсе и кебабах, я решил вкусно и качественно поесть. В tripadvisor.com на первом месте в Хельсинки стоит заведение Demo. Там не было мест, и они отправили меня в другое заведение тех же хозяев-шефов под названием "Гротеск". Дальнейшая гротескная история изложена в моем письме на адрес заведения, где я полностью цитирую то, что я написал в tripadvisor.com. Поскольку текст по-английски, то я привожу его под катом.

I just came from your restaurant. My check tells me that it was opened 23Kes'10 20:02 and closed at 22:16 - 2 hours 15 minutes for four courses - average of 45 minutes between courses. I wrote the following review for tripadvisor.com:
50 minutes wait for a cheese course - it has to be a world record!

I was sent to this place from "Demo" - the restaurant rated #1 here on tripadvisor. They didn't have a sits available, and suggested their sibling "Grotesk" which is just few minutes away. It looked nice, the menu was interesting, the prices weren't outrageous - I thought I hit a jackpot. I ordered five-courses "surprise" Chef Menu, but I didn't know what was the surprise awaiting me.

The first course was beef carpaccio. Way too salty to my taste - big rock salt on the meat, blue cheese and capers in the salad. But that might have been the intention of the chief, or salty Finnish heritage - I accepted it as it was.

The second course, which was a nice cucumber-melon soup took some twenty minutes to arrive. I didn't pay attention, as I was relaxing after a long day of touring Helsinki.

Then they poured me a red wine for the main course. I waited, drunk the wine, fall asleep, woke up, drunk some wine, slept some more. It felt like an hour, but it couldn't be - could it? I didn't check my watch. The waiter quietly recognized the long wait, and poured me more wine - my glass was empty by the time the meat arrived. The meat was quite bitter - not the peppercorn bitter, but quinine bitter. I don't know what happened in the kitchen - may be the meat was burned and the pieces which burned were cut out - I shouldn't guess. Everything around the meat was good - I even picked the juices with my bread - or was I just too hungry after the long wait?

This time I looked at my watch to figure out the time between courses. I waited. I slept some. I waited some more. I checked the time - 30 minutes passed. I waited more. And more. After 50 minutes I got up, found the head waitress, asked her to cancel the fifth course, explaining that 50 minutes wait between courses is little bit much even for a very patient customer. Imagine my surprise when I saw what I was waiting for. It was a cheese course. I can't imagine what was going on in the kitchen which would take 50 minutes to cut four pieces of cheese. The head waitress told me that she wouldn't even try to give me any excuses. I ate my cheese, paid (appropriately reduced) price of the dinner with zero tip and left the restaurant angry as hell.

I can imagine that on a good day it might be a lovely place. It just wasn't my day.


If you have any explanation of what has happened - I would like to hear it, just for my education. I don't need any extra compensation - I am leaving Helsinki the day after tomorrow, and I don't know if I visit Finland again in this decade.

Thank you.

Vadim Temkin
Tags: food
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